Why do I needlessly carry burdens when I should be rejoicing in the Lord always? I feel physically ill when I start to think about all that lies ahead of us. We don’t have the finances needed for the whole journey yet. I don’t have the language skills. I’m sure I’m forgetting to pack something I need. We don’t feel physically or spiritually prepared. Yet Christ does not ask me to carry all this. He asks that Justin and I trust Him wholly, and that we not lean on our own understanding but in ALL our ways acknowledge Him and He will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5).

It seems the Lord already knew, before I humbly came to Him early this morning, just what I needed to hear. It took forever for me to get to sleep last night, then I was awake again early this morning. That is not characteristic for me, and I usually find when I awake either in the middle of the night or early in the morning it’s because I need to spend time with my Lord. So I got up this morning, feeling heavy burdened with the weight of this project. I tried to pray, and nothing came. So I went to the family room, sat by the fire and began to read.

I have been making my way through 1st and 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, and now Philippians,  as our pastor had been doing a series on Ephesians before we left and I wanted to personally study the books surrounding that one.

I opened up where I left off last, at Philippians 3 and 4. The verse that stood out to me not only gave me a renewed sense of hope but also reprimanded me because of how easily I forget that Justin and I have never been, are not, and will never be the ones in control of the Pockets of Change project. It is His will we are doing, not our own, and He has given us the strength to move forward whether my weak self feels ready or not.

“… I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Phillipians 4:12-13